"Friday The 13th" - Review

Rating by Stars: * Waste of time / ** Okay / *** Recommended / **** Superb

Overall: **

Once again producers Andrew Form, Brad Fuller, and Micheal Bay (director of "Transformers" and "Armageddon") reunite with director Marcus Nispel ("Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "Pathfinder") to yet again resurrect another horror remake This time, they take on the challege on rebooting one of the most celebrated horror slashers in cinema history. Yep, the big mama's boy himself, Jason Voorhees. Now before I go any further on this review, let me mind you that myself personally, seriously don't like modern day horror films I'm reall..y more into the old school horror. From 60's to 80's. That's as far as I can go. So keep this in mind while reading this review. Rarely, there are a few modern ones that do manage to peek my interest (Rob Zombie's "Halloween" being my personal favorite) So is this film one of them? Definiately not.

The plot of film is about a young man named Clay who's in search for his missing sister in the eerie woods of, you guessed it, Crystal Lake During this, he encounters a group of college friends staying in a private cabin for spring break. Which little do they know that the cabin is less than a few miles away from the ruined Camp Crystal Lake, which is rumored to be the home of a deformed boy who drowned by the lake years ago. Well that's half right So anyway, Clay befriends with one of the backpackers named Jenna (who happens to be one of the only two girls who don't show their tits) and agrees to help Clay track down his missing sister. Now as you can imagin, their vacation doesn't go very well once they get their asses handed to them by Jason.

Now for those who have seen the original, as you can tell, this doesn't follow the first film at all. In fact, this felt more like another sequel rather than a remake. In the original, it's Jason's mother doing all the killing. He doesn't show up until the sequel. But he doesn't wear the iconic hocky mask until the third movie. So what the hell is going on here!!! It's like they tryed to combind the first three films into one. Like for the opening credits, that's the only time they use the original plot but only as a backstory for Jason. So when he's "all grown up" he wears an old dirty pillow case over his head much like the second film. Then finally, like about the middle of the movie, he replaces the case for a hocky mask like the third film. That's another thing, how he gets the mask is really retarded. Don't worry, I won't give it way, but still, it's really retarded.

Now if you seen any of the Jason films from the 80's, it's exactly what you expect. It's cheezy, semi-bad acted, and of course the most important element of a Jason movie, BOOB!!!! Lots and lots of BOOBS!!!! I'm serious, there's more boobs in here than gore I thought I was watching a high budget porno.. with Jason in it. But what really separates all of this, is the man himself. Instead of the walking monster from the previous films, he's from a killing machine to a really smart killing machine. He even runs after you now. And if he any object that throwable, he's a hell of a marksman too. That's what kept me from not leaving the theater, which I did anyway during close to the end of the movie, was updating the character after many years Jason himself is what semi-saves the movie from not being a complete waste of time.

So bottom line, if you're really old school like me, don't bother with this one. Now if you're a fan of 80's Jason, go right ahead. But if you're just looking for a good horror movie on the weekend, keeping looking and wait for this one on DVD. And of course, if you're a guy looking for some nice tity action, be my guessed.